Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Houston, we have a squirter
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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