Soap is not a condiment
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I forget how to act sober
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
