Do you still have your period?
there's paper in my vomit.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
