we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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