Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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