i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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