Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
