two words: eviction party
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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