just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize