i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
birth control should be required to get into college
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize