We're like a lot better than the average bears
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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