i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
