Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
