Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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