Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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