i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
