keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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