I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
