no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
