Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You are the jesus of drinking
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
