the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Come on in and take your pants off
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