You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
