you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
