Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
