I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
