Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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