As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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