i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
