My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
