So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
