no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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