Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
In America we eat man semen.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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