i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
