You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
