Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
