The brown eye won't let me do that either.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
