Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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