oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
