How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize