they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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