Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
