quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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