just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
