he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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