love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
