Too much gin, very little bucket
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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