I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
