We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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