I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Its about making memories worth repressing
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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