Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
