so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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