A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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