i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
