I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
