I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
