Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
