There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
