part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
