Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
