the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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