I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Found the puke drawer
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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