Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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