I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
